Author: Jackson Brunsting

Scripture

Philippians 4:6-7

Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Reflection

I’ve always felt the stress of trying to meet all of my responsibilities.  With a family and a full-time job, there is never enough time to give the proper attention to all of the things and people that matter.  I’ve fallen short with my husband and children and I’ve fallen short with my prayer life. 

During this pandemic’s stay-at-home order, I’ve had the joy of spending more time with my boys.  Our normal crazy pace has often made life feel very stressful.  I’ve always struggled with balancing work and home life, and home life usually loses out.  So, now we have this chance to slow things down a bit, which is great.  Unfortunately, I do still feel stress.  I think that all of us are feeling it now, in one way or another.

I struggle to balance the requirements of my job (which I am grateful to still have) with assisting my boys through their school day.  Anyone helping with home school can understand that challenge.  I hate to tell them, “not now” or “be quiet”.  It’s what I’ve been telling them all their lives. 

Of course, there’s the stress of cooking three meals a day and being in a constant state of cleaning up.  Our finances are strained, as well, and let’s not forget that every time I leave the house to go grocery shopping, I’m praying that I don’t contract the virus. 

I feel most of the time that I have no right to feel anything but grateful.  The people on the front lines of this pandemic are sacrificing so much.  The people who have lost a loved one are suffering so much.  I’m just mostly dealing with regular life issues.  Sometimes, though, I feel that stress so strongly that it manifests physical symptoms.  That’s when I absolutely need to breathe and pray. Of course, I always breathe, but there’s something about closing my eyes and breathing deeply that help calm me.  I can feel the Holy Spirit with me in those moments.  I’ve found that when I take the time and truly have faith in what I’m praying, God answers with peace for my soul. 

Song

Prayer

Dear Lord,
I give you my stress and worries.  Please instill in me your peace. Amen

Scripture

Matthew  11: 28-30

“Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Reflection

In these uncertain times we can become so anxious.  Anxious about what was, Anxious about what is, Anxious about what is to come. We can hopelessly become lost in it.  Our burdens become so heavy.  Our usual respite; the mass, the sacraments, adoration and fellowship have been disrupted and the noise of the media, our lawmakers, “new” social norms are exhausting.  Our peace….lost.  Our minds race, and race, and race, and race and race……and we wonder; What will become of us?

In Sister Kathryn J Hermes Book Reclaim Regret, she talks about letting go of the past and not getting caught up in the future, but focusing on what is going on right here…. right now. What is going on, here in this very moment, and how can I savor it……it is the only thing I can have an impact on…right now….. 

I am sitting here, I am typing this reflection, Jesus is with me, the Spirit moving me, guiding me as I type.

Focusing on “right now”  a single moment, gives me the opportunity to savor it, make it count.

I am not alone in each moment…..

The fact is…. He is always with me……reaching down to my littleness……wrapping his arms around me and lifting me to him…. in this moment…I close my eyes…focus on this moment…..savor it…. Right here….right now….rest in his love, his kindness, and his mercy………gone is my anxious heart.

Song

Prayer

Jesus, help me,
Jesus, be near me,
Jesus, strengthen me
Jesus, give me rest
Jesus, love me

Scripture

Isaiah 41: 10,13

Do not fear, for I am with you,
    do not be afraid, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
    I will uphold you with my victorious right hand

For I, the Lord your God,
    hold your right hand;
it is I who say to you, “Do not fear,
    I will help you.”

Reflection

Fear, that ancient foe which all of humanity encounters. It can be traced back to the beginning, immediately after Adam and Eve’s Fall when God seeks them in the garden and they hide and reply, “I heard you in the garden, but I was afraid, because I was naked, so I hid.” So as a consequence of that Original Sin, all of humanity struggles with being afraid; you are not alone in this struggle!

The fear that generally consumes me begins with either “What if” or “Will I be able.”

What if………I get sick/I lose my job/my car won’t start/he leaves me/I don’t make the team/ I can’t find toilet paper/we can’t pay our bills/ we can’t return to school in the Fall…..and on and on.

Will I be able to……..provide for my family/see my grandkids again/meet with my friends/graduate/travel on a vacation/ sustain without receiving the Sacraments…..and on and on.

Someone much wiser than I told me about the ‘monkeys’ in our head that rouse up all sorts of questions, much like those above.  He told me that first I had to recognize those ‘monkeys’ and then I had to toss them out to make room for the Lord’s voice.  So I’ve found that when I repeat this phrase a few times and breath deep, it helps me open up that space for Jesus:  “Faith and Fear cannot coexist at the same time; I choose faith.”  Then once I’m calmer I pray with Jesus and ask him to carry this issue with me and that I trust in Him to handle it.

Here is a reflection that really moved me and I hope it may comfort you as well.  It is written as if Mary, our Blessed Mother is speaking to us:  My child, Jesus tell you: “Do not let your hearts be troubled…Trust in me….”  If he tells you that, it means that it is possible for you to live in his peace.  He does not say that troubling things won’t happen – they will.  But in him, if you exercise your trust in him, you can keep your heart in peace, like a little child in its mother’s arms.  He always holds you in his sure embrace.  When troubles come, bring your heart back to the sure knowledge of his love and his wise providence.  It is a mark of all true followers of Christ that they have learned to be steady in the storm; they have learned to rejoice in the depths of their souls even in the midst of tears.  He is worthy of your trust.  (The Better Part, by Fr. John Bartunek on John 14: 1-12)

Song

Prayer

Lord, I place this fear in your hands. There is no harm in your hands, only good.  And whatever  happens with or comes from this situation, if I am in the Lord’s hands, it is the Lord’s will and He will bring good from it. Jesus, I trust in you and surrender my life to you.  Amen

Scripture

Psalms 27:1

The Lord is my light and my salvation;
    whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life;
    of whom shall I be afraid?

Reflection

Being overwhelmed is not hard during this pandemic, stay at home time.  It gets frustrating for me, listening to so many different reports, and opinions.  Who do I believe, when will this end, will life ever be the same?

When I feel overwhelmed, I know that I need to double down on prayer.  I need to physically get myself to my church.  I need to be close to the Lord.  
So many things can make me feel overwhelmed, like not having kept my house as clean as I would like, not getting my clean laundry put away in a timely manner, not getting my work done on time, not getting my lawn mowed, or having to deal with finances, or technology that I don’t understand!  You’ll certainly know what overwhelms you.

Things I do to get through include taking a deep breath, getting down to work, and drinking an extra glass of water. I step on the scale to make sure I know where I am at.  I take a walk, I watch a favorite show, and I reach out to a friend.  I also make plans to help out someone else who I know needs some help or cheering up.   During a very disappointing and overwhelming time in my life, years back, I organized a letter writing project for a friend who had cancer.  I managed to get other friends to send cards or letters so that the friend with cancer received mail everyday.  By taking the focus off me, it helps me relax my anxiety and get myself back on track.

Overwhelmed is a very common feeling for me, but I am able to get myself in check fairly easy.  When I can’t, I ask for help, I let myself cry it out, and I take some time for me.

The Lord IS my light and my salvation.  Without Him, I could not be there for myself, and others.  Sometimes His light is not evident, and I realize that I need to be still, to stop, and to listen.  

And I remember I have so much to be thankful for. 

Song

Prayer

Heavenly Father,
Thank you for revealing my weaknesses in trying to carry the burden and stress of my situation. Forgive me for trying to handle it all on my own and for allowing it to consume and rob me of my peace. I know that anxiety, fear, worry, and anger are not Godly reactions.

Father, my emotions teeter on the edge when things don’t go smoothly, and I find my thoughts, and my heart are being pulled in multiple directions. Instead of approaching each event individually, I simply react to them as a whole with no resolve. I want to run away from the problem instead of facing it head-on.

Give me the wisdom and clarity to see the solution to things. Equip me with patience, wisdom, love, compassion, and guidance to be able to overcome and move forward. When I am tempted to run away and hide, I pray that your heavy conviction would be upon me, so I listen to your voice and instruction.

Help me to seek refuge and strength in your Word and to gain the right perspective over my situation. Amen.

Scripture

Philippans 4:6-7

Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Reflection

I have often felt alone and in despair during this pandemic.  I have a fairly large family – my husband and I and 4 children and yet, there are times and days I feel alone and sad.  Like many of you, I am sad that I cannot receive Holy Communion or go to confession.  Sad that I can’t interact with other parishioners, sad that I can’t go and visit my parents, sad for others who are isolated and alone.  Sad for my own eighth grader who will not have a graduation ceremony this spring and for other eighth graders, seniors in highschool and college that will not have their ceremonies this spring.  Sad for the 2nd graders who worked so hard all year to prepare for their first communion who now have to wait an undetermined amount of time to do so.

My feelings of loneliness stem from the fact that yes my 4 children are with me each day but noone understands my situation.  By God’s grace, my husband is still working full time, but he goes to work before everyone is up and comes home and is exhausted and is not up for much interaction.  My job situation is unique.  I have always for the most part worked from home so interaction with coworkers was always limited but now is just about non-existent and with the stay-at-home orders my services are not even needed at this time.  I have felt desperate to be included in things at work – like I need it to feed my soul.

To combat these feelings I think of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who dwelt among his friends and disciples knowing they did not understand his purpose.  He must have felt alone and sad often. I have been uplifted by attending daily Mass online or on Facebook at SMI. We sit as a family and attend Mass online on Sundays.  I have gone on walks while listening to Christian music, I have gotten out and done yardwork to upkeep and care for what God has given me.  I have begun home improvement projects, again to upkeep what God has given me. I have spent more time interacting with my children, a gift God has given me. I have reached out to groups of people to see how things are going for them and share some words of encouragement. Basically instead of dwelling on all that I am missing,  I try to look around and see what God has given me and find ways to nurture and appreciate it.

Song

Prayer

Loving Father, I come before you today and ask that you comfort me in times of loneliness.  Be my shelter in the midst of this storm and walk beside me each day. At times I feel so alone, in desperation, longing for human interaction and conversation.  Remind me that you are at my side always.  Help me take comfort and be encouraged in the promise that, no matter the time or the situation, you would not forsake me or leave me. Amen

Scripture

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

but he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities for the sake of Christ; for whenever I am weak, then I am strong.

Reflection

One of my favorite parts of Scripture comes from Paul’s Second Letter to the Corinthians Chapter 12. Paul tells us that he has a thorn in his flesh that he has begged God to remove. But despite his relenting prayer, the thorn remains. But then suddenly Paul flips the script on us and tells us that he is grateful for that thorn because he has realized that in his weakness, he has found true strength, in his own weakness he is strong because he has to rely on God.

There are a lot of frustrations right now. We have two foster daughters right now who can’t see their families, have lost their friends, their schooling, and are facing a summer where things just continue to be cancelled. We are facing employment uncertainty, concerned about the health of family members, worrying if we will be able to find what we need at stores, and of course wondering whether the next time we go out might be when we encounter someone with the virus. And I know, we are not alone in these feelings or disappointments. We are frustrated because we are not in control. We are frustrated because we want our expectations of our holidays, our vacations, and our lives to go back to “normal.” We are frustrated because this was not a part of our plan, because we are facing uncertainty and insecurity.

I know my gut instinct in times like these is to say, “Why me God? Of all the people in the world, why did you have to do this to me?” But when I take a really hard look in the mirror, I realize God isn’t doing this to me, God didn’t cause this, He isn’t punishing me. God doesn’t want me to hurt or to suffer. But what I am reminded of again and again when I can put my frustration aside and turn to God, is that no matter my circumstance, God can take the greatest tragedy and bring beauty from it. That amidst all the frustration and my desire to be in control of my life, God’s got this and He’s got me. I may have had plans for mission trips and summer camps, cookouts with my family and playing in the park and maybe that won’t happen. But God will take my time in quarantine and He will give me something far greater. I don’t know what that something is right now, but in time I will see the greater picture. For when I put my trust in God, when I focus on Him and rely on Him rather than my own abilities and understanding, that is when I gain true strength. I know there will be beauty beyond my frustrations. And in those moments that I feel most overwhelmed I can be reminded that Paul too asked for the thorn to be removed. But Paul found peace and fulfillment when He turned that thorn over to God and listened for His will in adversity.

Song

Prayer

God, these times are hard and at times the bitter pill of frustration seems overwhelming. I know at times that I am weak but desire so much to control the situations around me even though I cannot. But I also know that you can use my weakness to show your strength and your greater plan for my life. God, give me the understanding that your grace is all I need. Help me to discover the paths which you have made for me and the beauty that can be found in the midst of these difficulties. Be with me in my frustrations and help me to be proud of my weakness, because they reveal to me your strength and protection. Amen.