Author: Jackson Brunsting

Scripture

Philippans 4:6-7

Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Reflection

I have often felt alone and in despair during this pandemic.  I have a fairly large family – my husband and I and 4 children and yet, there are times and days I feel alone and sad.  Like many of you, I am sad that I cannot receive Holy Communion or go to confession.  Sad that I can’t interact with other parishioners, sad that I can’t go and visit my parents, sad for others who are isolated and alone.  Sad for my own eighth grader who will not have a graduation ceremony this spring and for other eighth graders, seniors in highschool and college that will not have their ceremonies this spring.  Sad for the 2nd graders who worked so hard all year to prepare for their first communion who now have to wait an undetermined amount of time to do so.

My feelings of loneliness stem from the fact that yes my 4 children are with me each day but noone understands my situation.  By God’s grace, my husband is still working full time, but he goes to work before everyone is up and comes home and is exhausted and is not up for much interaction.  My job situation is unique.  I have always for the most part worked from home so interaction with coworkers was always limited but now is just about non-existent and with the stay-at-home orders my services are not even needed at this time.  I have felt desperate to be included in things at work – like I need it to feed my soul.

To combat these feelings I think of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who dwelt among his friends and disciples knowing they did not understand his purpose.  He must have felt alone and sad often. I have been uplifted by attending daily Mass online or on Facebook at SMI. We sit as a family and attend Mass online on Sundays.  I have gone on walks while listening to Christian music, I have gotten out and done yardwork to upkeep and care for what God has given me.  I have begun home improvement projects, again to upkeep what God has given me. I have spent more time interacting with my children, a gift God has given me. I have reached out to groups of people to see how things are going for them and share some words of encouragement. Basically instead of dwelling on all that I am missing,  I try to look around and see what God has given me and find ways to nurture and appreciate it.

Song

Prayer

Loving Father, I come before you today and ask that you comfort me in times of loneliness.  Be my shelter in the midst of this storm and walk beside me each day. At times I feel so alone, in desperation, longing for human interaction and conversation.  Remind me that you are at my side always.  Help me take comfort and be encouraged in the promise that, no matter the time or the situation, you would not forsake me or leave me. Amen

Scripture

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

but he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities for the sake of Christ; for whenever I am weak, then I am strong.

Reflection

One of my favorite parts of Scripture comes from Paul’s Second Letter to the Corinthians Chapter 12. Paul tells us that he has a thorn in his flesh that he has begged God to remove. But despite his relenting prayer, the thorn remains. But then suddenly Paul flips the script on us and tells us that he is grateful for that thorn because he has realized that in his weakness, he has found true strength, in his own weakness he is strong because he has to rely on God.

There are a lot of frustrations right now. We have two foster daughters right now who can’t see their families, have lost their friends, their schooling, and are facing a summer where things just continue to be cancelled. We are facing employment uncertainty, concerned about the health of family members, worrying if we will be able to find what we need at stores, and of course wondering whether the next time we go out might be when we encounter someone with the virus. And I know, we are not alone in these feelings or disappointments. We are frustrated because we are not in control. We are frustrated because we want our expectations of our holidays, our vacations, and our lives to go back to “normal.” We are frustrated because this was not a part of our plan, because we are facing uncertainty and insecurity.

I know my gut instinct in times like these is to say, “Why me God? Of all the people in the world, why did you have to do this to me?” But when I take a really hard look in the mirror, I realize God isn’t doing this to me, God didn’t cause this, He isn’t punishing me. God doesn’t want me to hurt or to suffer. But what I am reminded of again and again when I can put my frustration aside and turn to God, is that no matter my circumstance, God can take the greatest tragedy and bring beauty from it. That amidst all the frustration and my desire to be in control of my life, God’s got this and He’s got me. I may have had plans for mission trips and summer camps, cookouts with my family and playing in the park and maybe that won’t happen. But God will take my time in quarantine and He will give me something far greater. I don’t know what that something is right now, but in time I will see the greater picture. For when I put my trust in God, when I focus on Him and rely on Him rather than my own abilities and understanding, that is when I gain true strength. I know there will be beauty beyond my frustrations. And in those moments that I feel most overwhelmed I can be reminded that Paul too asked for the thorn to be removed. But Paul found peace and fulfillment when He turned that thorn over to God and listened for His will in adversity.

Song

Prayer

God, these times are hard and at times the bitter pill of frustration seems overwhelming. I know at times that I am weak but desire so much to control the situations around me even though I cannot. But I also know that you can use my weakness to show your strength and your greater plan for my life. God, give me the understanding that your grace is all I need. Help me to discover the paths which you have made for me and the beauty that can be found in the midst of these difficulties. Be with me in my frustrations and help me to be proud of my weakness, because they reveal to me your strength and protection. Amen.